I want to be wearing this at chrsitmas this year..

I know it's a huuuuge goal and right now i'm looking like fat albert but i know i can do it. And ROCK it.

It aint about how fast I get there, it aint about what's waiting on the other side..

Hi Everyone,
I know i haven't updated for a very long time.. and i'd usually start by apologising for the lack of updates, but this time i'm not. I'm not sorry i haven't updated- I've been seemingly absent for a reason. I fell off the wagon in a big big way, so i guess me not writing for a long time is me avoiding my figurative AA meeting which is sosamalicious. Now i'm back and ready to roll and i have soooo much to fill you in on. So i guess i'd better start from the top..

So i bought my house and the commando is currently undertaking an 8 month depolyment in Afghanistan so i have taken 6 months off to concentrate on me. I've locked up my place and walked away and i'm shacked up with the inlaws in downtown Picton, NSW. You might be saying wtf is this girl thinking ?!! But there's method to my madness.. I have got myself back on track in more ways than one. I've returned to my beloved singing. I'm studying again and about to do my AmusA in classical vocal. It's ALOT of hard work and i've forgotten alot of my technique but i'm sure with patience and practive i'll be restored to my former glory in no time.

Since i've stopped working i've stopped needing the antidepressants. Relief is an understatement. I'm the best i have been in so long and i feel like moving here and doing what i love again has set me free so to speak. I've been going to the central coast and hanging out with my family and my reallllly great friends, and shoutout to my bestie Bridgey of bridgetparker.blogspot.com- loves you to bits miss !! Xoxo.

Sadly my gynae problems are stillllll there. However, i'm pleased to report that i've found myself a gynaecologist that is going to do my hysterectomy after i have another baby. The plan is if i don't fall after 2 months of trying then IVF and then hysterectomy post baby. But.. I have so much to consider about this- it realllly is a huge deal once you think about it. So i've found someone who'll stop my bleeding, but at what cost ?

So as you can see my weight has taken a back seat to allll of the above. There's more but so much that i've jammed in since my last update that you'd be buying a novel instead of reading a post. I ended up getting all of my fill taken out and i had 6 ml put back in last week. It's nice to feel restriction again but i seriously need to get organised to get to goal. This time it's for me- i know i can do it. The little bet i have on with a friend is also inspiration. We're both aiming to tear 30 kilos off asap and we're both giving up something that we love to eat- so i have elected to give up icecream. I'm treating it like a weight loss lent only for 30 kilos.

I'll wrap it up for this entry so wish me well.. But i'll leave you with this. I've been miserable for so long i can't even tell you, and i've been to the depths of despair but i've never ever wanted it bad enough to give up the drug that is food. Now I am. I've sourced my inspiration and my mojo from the one thing that has never ever let me down. Music. If you have a band and are reading this, or even if you don't, embrace my mistakes.. Weight loss is an uphill battle and sometimes you're going to have to lose- but it's not about how fast you get there or about what's waiting on the other side. It's the climb.

Til next time.
Sami Xoxo