Previous statement retracted- No fill needed !!!

Just choked after 2 bites of dinner.. Done the calculations- Don't think i need a fill. I just need to motivate my lazy arse !

Public service announcement.. I am the worst blogger EVER !!!

Yes i suck. I know this. It is a fact i am well aware of. I haven't written because i've been busy/sick/stressed..



My weight isn't moving because i haven't been doing any exercise- i feel like a big tub of lard on legs at the moment which is really quite depressing. And i have no energy at all to exercise because.. you guessed it ! It that time of the month (although i haven't had it since frigging August.) Now i've probably blogged before on how heavy it is but seriously, this is like niagra falls. I went to the Dr and he said yeah just go to the emergency department.. don't forget to pay my $60 on the way out now though will you ? Fucken useless retard !! I swear i'm not going back to him. So very over it all. Have decided to just go to bulk bill Dr's.



Which brings me to the ENT surgeon. I saw that dickhead yesterday.. I don't have nodules (*sigh of relief !!*) yet at the same time- shitfight. So yeah.. don't have to go under the knife which is a good thing cos i didn't really want them to be in there fucking around with my voice.. But the work aspect is shit.



So yeah feel like shit. Still stuck on 95 kilos (hence why i'm yet to update progress pics..). I feel like i'm going to be a big fat fuck forever.. Need a fill i'm thinking.

Why is life so hard ?!!!!!!



Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr



Sami Xx



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So over it

Hellllllo from Cairns !!!

Well i'm in sunny cairns at the moment visiting family and yeah.. It's been interesting to say the least. We're so very different. I was fighting with my mother the minute i stepped into her house which was impressive.. And i swear i'm adopted. My mother and i are like chalk and cheese. I'm into fashion and makeup- she's never worn makeup or had her hair done in her life.. I'm really girly- she's not. I'm tactful- she's downright obnoxious. Now you may think i'm harsh but here's an example. I had a Partylite party last night because i'm thinking of becoming a consultant and she was just loud and rude to the lady doing the party the whole time. Asking her questions like "so how much do you make..? bet it's not as much as Sam makes working for the government.." I bet it isn't either. But then i bet she doesn't want to kill herself rather than walk through the doors at work every morning. My mother is one of these people that thinks "government job.. cruisey.. set for life.." Newsflash for anyone reading this of that opinion. That is FALSE. It's more fucked than the private sector. To the point where you get in trouble for going 5 seconds over on your piss break. I'm so stressed- my whole holidays have been a fucked unit because i'm so stressed. It's that time of the month and i'm retaining fluid like a mofo so the scales aren't moving.. It's just been soooo crap !!! I hope everyone else is having a better time than me.

Sami Xx

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Hot and Cold

Hi Everyone,
sorry for the lack of posts but i've been having a hell of a time lately.. Mainly work issues. I suppose it comes with my job but just been so so stressed i can't believe it. I'm on holidays now and my head is consumed with work- i have a couple of different "disputes" we shall call them for the sake of political correctness.. and all i can think about are things like "what's going to happen next, what are they going to do to me when i get back.." feels like every bloody step i take i'm walking on eggshells and anything i say and do is being scrutinized and i'm terrified of the fear of retribution (which i've been copping lately.) Then my other worry is money.. I ended up going out on leave the other day because my doctor thought it was in the best interest of my mental health and because i have no sick leave left- got no pay. So yeah.. At the moment they control everything and i control nothing and i'm so very over it. Now i've vented about that.. Next !

My band has been playing up a treat ! I was thinking it was hormonal (due to my erratic, non existent cycle..) and i couldn't eat for about 3 weeks because it was so tight. So i finally thought ok i need some out and out of desperation went to see the fill Dr (which i hate doing because she can never find my port and then i'm sore as a motherfucker because she jabs around in my stomach for like 15 minutes) out of pure desperation to get some fill out and sure enough- she couldn't find the port. What a surprise.. NOT !! So had to wait ANOTHER week to get fill out in X-Ray. She took 1 ml out to being me back down to 5.5 and said see how i go with that.. I went back to the surgeon a week later and i was starving.. Ravenous hungry ! So he gave me 0.5 to bring me back up to 6ml. A week on I was still finding i was getting hungry like every 3 hours.. So called the fill Dr again to get a tiny bit more fill (made sure i booked it in X-Ray this time..) So now i have 6.25 ml in my 10 ml band. My Dr and the fill Dr have both said the band is a prosthesis and is not affected by hormones or other medication etc.. But when i talked to my GP about my antidepressants he said that they could have an affect and make the band feel a bit tighter. I'm a touch sick of contradicting information given by medical professionals.. Seems like they're all retarded and like to play guessing games with people's lives.

The last couple of days have been exceptionally sucky. My cycle is everywhere and didn't know where i was upto. I've been PMS'ing like a bitch (as you do when it hasn't been that time of the month since August and it's now mid November..) but i finally got it on Monday. So i'm preparing for the usual bleeding for aaaaaaaaaaaages and feeling like shit. Love love love my body.

So i haven't written for a while and those are my reasons. I've had so much to say but just haven't been in the right space in my head to write anything constructive, in fact, chances are if i did write something it would have been a rant..

Taking new progress pics in the next couple of days so stay tuned for those !!
Sami Xx


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STOP PRESS !!!!!!!!!

The top ones were taken on the 20/10/08- i'll be taking new full body ones on the 20/11/08

Me- May 07.. The pic that changed it all...

Ok- this is me in May last year. This is the picture that made me snap out of myself and think how absolutely fucking horrible i looked. This was what made me get the band and what drags my bitch arse out walking and to dancing and to the gym. This person is gone. Forever.

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Oh and the marks all over my face aren't acne- i actually had chicken pox. Thanks daycare..

The top ones were taken on the 20/10/08.. re-posted so you can see the comparison by request =)

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Sami.. Strictly ballroom..

This pic was taken about 2 weeks ago

As was this one..

This one was taken when i was playing superstar DJ in Brisbane in August

This one was taken last year when i was at my heaviest weight- taken around September..

This one was taken last year when i was around 118 kg in August last year

Hi everyone !

I know i've been slack on the updates but i've had that much going on you wouldn't believe it. I'm stressed out to the max from work and just beside myself. But the things we do for a dollar hey ? On a brighter note i went to dance class last night and i'm still very pleased to report that i'm loving every second !!!! Last night i didn't look like such a retard. Only in one dance.. But there's this guy there and he's one of the "actual dancers" and we all swap partners through the night and anyway i was "lucky" enough to score him for the dance that i just couldn't get (one turn in the dance..) and mind you i improved alot after dancing with him but i found him to be.. well a bit of a prick actually. Just like i was an inconvenience and he was a bit condescending and it kind of put me off a bit. Maybe he was just having a bad day..? It hasn't put me off because i still had heaps of fun and it was a brilliant workout but yeah..

Had to get fill out last week. Decided after not eating for about three and a half weeks that i was overfilled :S So i went to my dr's fill dr (whom i think is useless..) and of course she couldn't get the port. Spent like 15 minutes jabbing into my gut with the needle and then announced we'd have to arrange to do it in xray- so had to wait another week. So got a ml out now and i'm ravenous !!! As in can eat 3 pieces of pizza type hungry ! Before i had my fill out i was choking on mushies. Funny how little can affect it.. Tempramental bloody thing !!! The scales are still being retarded and my weight is slowly creeping down.. Like a snail.. But my body is definitely changing which i'm loving and i think you're really starting to see the changes in my face.. What do you reckon ?

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Calling all bandits NATIONALLY !! I have a dream..

Hey guys,
I’m on a mission and I need help. Lots of people will be aware that September was the month to raise awareness for Ovarian Cancer and the theme for this particular cancer (like breast cancer is pink,) is silver- so they aptly gave the awareness campaign name this year "Silver in September." For those people who don't know about this particular type of cancer, it's a nasty one. By the time it's detected it's almost too late because there are no actual tests to make diagnosis properly... And these cancers tend to play hide and seek on ultrasounds and things like that. All us ladies go and have Pap Smears to check for nasty changes to our cervixes which can lead to cancer- but at the moment there's no type of test like a pap smear to test for ovarian cancer. (Pap smears DO NOT have anything to do with your ovaries at all- this test is not for the purpose of detecting changes to your ovaries.) So then I was thinking about this as I bought my silver pins and pens this year and had an idea...

Fellow bandits-I have a dream... that we can all unite and walk this baby. And I’m not talking part of it... The WHOOOOOOOLE thing!! I want all bandits across Australia (and anyone else you know that may be interested) to unite so we can get together for a nation wide meet and greet for one and to raise money for the Ovarian Cancer Research Foundation (OCRF) which is an organisation that has a goal to develop and implement an early detection program, to improve the mortality rate, management and long-term survival of women with ovarian cancer and to gain fundamental understanding of the causes of ovarian cancer.

For those of you who read my blog regularly you'll have read particular posts about the Gynae problems I have myself, which are severe and I was told last week that I may need a radical hysterectomy any old day to fix everything.. Just what you want to hear at the ripe old age of 23... But what I haven't mentioned in my blog is that I’ve lost several women in my family as well as friends to not only ovarian cancer, but cervical, breast and loads of other types as well- this is something that's close to my heart and I’m very passionate about. The mortality rate for this particular type of cancer is bordering on ridiculous and it has to stop.

Yes I am aware as pointed out to me already by a fellow bandit that Olivia Newton-John and many of her celebrity friends have just done this for breast cancer... Who cares? If we got together and did the hard yards it would have lots of advantages which I shall list now
- What is better exercise than walking that whole bloody wall the whole way across China?
- Everyone who knows someone who has, had or has died from cancer and definitely knows someone with ovaries.
- And the best part... drum roll... we get to raise awareness not only Ovarian cancer and the OCRF but for weight loss surgery and lap band in Australia!

Madison magazine Australia, Witchery and the NAB (which is where I got my pins and pens from) are behind this cause to kick it off and have run awareness/fundraising campaigns themselves in conjunction with the OCRF. Witchery and Madison have teamed up to promote the OCRF White Shirt Campaign. Check it out @ www.witchery.com.au.

Now yes this is a big scale idea I know- but for those of you that talk to me frequently, I’m not in the habit of doing things in halves. If we're going to do this we're going to do it right so what I need is expressions of interest... It takes alot of time to organise a big scale event like this... And then we would need to save for airfares, travel expenses etc. as every single cent we raise will go to the OCRF- this is not a free holiday.

Who wants to join me walking the Great Wall of China to raise awareness for 2 worthy causes? Please email me at little_miss_priss_is@hotmail.com and make sure to check out www.ocrf.com.au as well.

If you're not doing this because you're a woman and you could possibly have a better chance of fighting this nasty disease off, or you think guys can't get involved, think again. Do it for your wife or your mother or your sister or you daughter or any other woman you know... Help keep their name off the next statistics list that comes out purely because they have ovaries and were unlucky enough to get stung with this disease. Enough is enough.

As you're thinking about this post I’ll be off trawling for a dress to wear for new years.. I've decided on a colour theme- Silver.

Cheers-
Sami Xx

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